Steps of developing self-compassion

Step 1: Realize that you're only human.

Say mantras to yourself such as, Everyone goofs up now and then, or Guess I'm human after all! Reinforce this line of thinking by reminding yourself of people you know who've dealt with the same setback you're facing. You may even start feeling affection for your idiosyncrasies and flaws as you realize that they're just part of what makes you you.

Step 2: Feel your pain.

Rushing through or denying your bad feelings won't make them go away, but wallowing isn't healthy, either. Mindful acceptance allows you to face your pain and then move on. "If you get mentally lost in blaming yourself or others, you prolong your suffering," notes psychology professor Kristin Neff, Ph.D., of the University of Texas at Austin. "But if you simply allow yourself to feel the emotion and let it run its course—which is often a wave that builds and tapers off—it dissipates much more quickly."

Step 3: Talk to yourself with kindness.

Now that you've moved past the difficult feelings that often come with life's obstacles, focus on comforting yourself. If you can talk to yourself as mercifully as you would to your best friend, you'll start to see yourself as worthy of that care and forgiveness. And eventually, you'll be able to tap into that self-loving mind-set whenever you're in a tough spot.Learning to be more loving toward yourself also brings a less obvious but equally important benefit.

Read full article here!

Relaxing Eyes: Blinking Exercise

One useful exercise for relaxing your eyes is some sort of blinking based exercise. A standard one would be to blink for a few seconds. Then follow this up with eyelids squeezed gently shut for a second. Repeat a few times. This exercise is effective because it moves the focus of the eyes, and will also lubricate the surface of the eye because the tear ducts are stimulated by the squeezing motion which forms part of the exercise.

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hoW to WeAR TuDuNg? -by ZyRa wRaP

p/s: This video actually not showing us the real dress code of Muslimah that we should obey...

My suggestion is, use the same way of hijab style but make sure the material or tudung is bigger so that it will cover our chest... Happy TrYiNg!! ^_^ .

Muslim Dress Code Conditions

Islamic law is comprehensive in its enunciation of a code of conduct with respect to an individual’s life and dealings with others. Part of this are the rules pertaining to dress and attire.According to some fiqh scholars, the clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible;

# The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.

# The clothing must hang loose so that the shape of the body is not apparent.

# The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.

# The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non-believing women.

# The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.

# Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.

The reason for this strictness is so that the woman is protected from the lustful gaze of men. She should not attract attention to herself in any way. It is permissible for a man to catch the eye of a woman, however it is haram (unlawful) for a man to look twice as this encourages lustful thoughts.  

A dress is supposed to serve two purposes:

1. Covering the `Awrah (private parts) of the body.

2. Serving the purpose of adornment and beautification.

Reviewing the Qur’an, we find that Allah, the Almighty, describes the dress of believers as “The Dress of Piety” or Libasut-Taqwa, and this exactly emphasizes the aforementioned two conditions, and stresses that such a dress should never be used for showing off. Almighty Allah says:  

“But the raiment of righteousness, - that is the best.” (Al-`Araaf: 26)

Islam has provided few guidelines to achieve this quality:

1. The first condition is that the dress has to be Halal by its origin, i.e. purchased or owned through Halal earning.

2. The second is that it must not imply imitation of other people’s dress. This means we should not imitate others’ religious attire or style, as the Hadith states:  

“Whoever imitates some people will be ranked among them.” (Irwaa’ul Ghaleel, Al-Albaani, Hadith no. 2384).

3. The third condition is that the dress must not carry any resemblance to women’s dress. This means men’s dress must not involve any kind of feminine style of adornment: pure silk, golden dress, very bright and fast color, are all considered permissible for women, but not for men.

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How much jewellery is too much?

When we talk about wearing jewelleries, always there is a question mark here and there. Am I look good with this? Is it too much? Actually, it really depends on the actual items of jewellery itself. You just don't want too many pieces vying with each other for attention so that when people look at you they do not know what to look at first (after your face of course!)

Let say you have one of those beautiful charm bracelets with a whole stack of different charms. That kind of piece deserves special attention and it should not have to share it with 3 necklaces, a brooch, 5 rings and a pair of chandelier ear rings. Of course, this style rule does not mean that you should only wear one piece of jewellery. It just means that you should only one piece that has impact. If you want to wear your wonderful dangling chandelier earrings wear them with a simple plain silver bangle instead.

It also does not mean that you should always wear only one bangle or necklace, but if you have a wrist jangling with 5 thin bangles then that is your impact piece for now and wear only simple earrings, a watch and maybe a simple chain around your neck. You could combine necklaces instead (if they go well together) to make that your focal point in terms of jewellery. It could be any piece that makes your look. But just have one.

There is also a contrary point to this and that is not to have too little impact with your jewellery. If everything is too plain and simple and no piece has any impact at all you will not be enhancing your look with jewellery, you will look dull rather than well put together.
For more details, click here.

Simple Tips before Doing Your Make-Up

In the previous post we've shared some tips on facial care. Here is some other tips that we would like to share with you. We found this super simple tips yet really works from Hanis Zalikha's blog. We've tried the guidelines that she suggested and guest what???It really works! You should try it too before doing your make-up. Here's the steps to follow:

1. Wash your face with facial foam/ wash
2. Apply toner
3. Then scrub your face with facial scrub that contains jojoba beads
4. Wash your face with water
5. Apply toner again
6. Apply your moisturizer
7. Then begin your make-up!

Hanis explained, only by following these 'skin regime', your make-up will stay longer. Happy trying!!!

 source:

*.~.*♥The BeauTy of HiJaB.. *.~.*♥

Types of Women Shoes

In the previous post we've discuss how important for modern Muslim women to know different types of handbags. The same amount of importance is placed in knowing different types of shoes. There are many types of woman's shoes and here are the names and descriptions of many common and not so common types.

Classic Black Pumps

These are shoes where the foot is supported all around the shoe front, back and on both sides and can have an ankle strap. The sole is a one piece type with a heel of any size with a high heel pump often called a stiletto. For everyday use to the office, business occasions, shopping, lunch outings; the classic Black Pump is the best choice. It is comfortable to wear for the whole day, and one should prefer a 2 to 3 inch heel for ideal comfort. These shoes can be leather or micro-fiber, though leather allows the feet to aerate properly.

Neutral Low Heel Pumps

The Neutral Low Heel Pump is a variation to the former, as black is not always the ideal color to wear with all clothes. The neutral colors are beige or taupe, although navy and brown are also good options with clothes of the same color scheme. The heels of these shoes are low and the shoe is closed at the toe, in a rounded or pointed version according to taste, though the rounded toes are the more comfortable of the two.

Open Toe Dress Heels

This is basically a pump shoe as described above where the front is cut away to expose all of the toes. When this is done to only expose the big toe or middle toes using a smaller cutaway it would be referred to as a peep hole shoe. In other words, it can come in the closed back pump style or the sling back (with just a strap over the heel). The heels of these types of women shoes should ideally be 3 to 4 inches, being the sort of shoe women wear on special occasions, such as dating and parties, for it conveys a certain flair of femininity to those women who wear them. A shiny patent leather or metallic are good options.

Flats or Skimmers

Some more conventional types of women shoes are the Flats or Skimmers. Skimmers come in fun colors and patterns. These shoes can be worn with jeans, capris or other casual wear. If you want something a little more dressy, you can choose a ballet flat trimmed with bows, jewels and ribbons instead.

Suede or Fabric Mules

This type of shoe is one which has a heel but has no support around the ankle and rear of the shoe or another way to describe it is as a heeled flip flop. These can be completely closed at the front or cut away as an open toe or peep hole shoe. The Suede or Fabric Mules are also to be worn with more casual wear and come with a 2 to 3 inch heel and are open in the back allowing feet extra freedom and air.

Oxford

This is the name given to a shoe which encloses the foot and is laced up along the top this can be a flat, heeled or wedge styled shoe.

Sandals

These are where the sole of shoe can be flat, wedged or heeled and the upper part is made up of straps which can be arranged in any form to secure the shoe. This means that the toes and most of the sides and top are uncovered and the straps can even go up the leg towards the knee and this type of sandal is often called a gladiator sandal. Birkenstock sandal footwear are the favorite flat woman's sandals often called papillio sandals as they are made under license.

Wedge Shoe

This is any type of heeled footwear where the there is no gap below the sole meaning the full length of the base of the shoe makes contact with the ground. If you put wedge shoes on the ground, you will notice that the heel and the front of the shoe where the front of the foot rests are connected. Usually the space is completely filled in and creates a shoe where the entire sole rests on the ground. Sometimes there is a hole in the wedge part of the shoe, but it is still considered a wedge if the sole of the shoe is entirely on the ground.

What makes a wedge special is that you look sexy and get all the benefits of wearing heels without having to balance on a thin heel. This means you may be able to wear a higher heel than you normally would while still feeling the stability of wearing pumps or other, shorter heels. Wedges come in many styles and shapes, and with the wedge portion for designers to work with there is a whole world of possibilities that heels lack. Having the whole sole on the ground means you will feel more stable while walking in your wedges and can enjoy yourself without having to worry about your balance and how you're going to get from the car to the restaurant.

Espadrilles

When it comes to woman's shoe styles, no style stands out more than the espadrilles. They look like a wedge because there is no space between the heel and the part of the shoe where the ball of the foot and the toes are, but they differ from wedges because the sole is covered in a rope-like fabric named after the original rope braid used to make them over a century ago in the Pyrenees. Even if there isn't a heel on the shoe, if the sole looks like a basket weave of rope, you are looking at an espadrille. They tend to have rubber on the inside of the rope material for an added comfort factor that other heels usually do not offer. The upper is typically made of canvas but can be any material such as leather, suede, or something even more exotic! In the olden days, espadrilles utilized the extra fabric that wraps around the ankle to keep the shoe on. Nowadays, the fabric or ribbon on some espadrilles are there for fashion and not for function. Espadrilles are fun shoes, but are not meant for long hikes or a lot of walking, but some of the newer styles have more arch support and may be worn as an all-day shoe.

Stiletto

The stiletto heel is usually 4"-6" in height and tapered sharply, like the spring-loaded knife for which it is named, and a lady who spends enough time in a pair of stilettos may feel that she is indeed walking on knives. Stilettos are often called "eff me pumps" because they are insane amounts of sexy.

D’Orsay

Kitten Heels

Tapered like the stiletto, but as the heel is only 1"-2" high, the effect is more cute than sexy. If you're looking for great rockabilly fashion but don't want to try walking in four inch stilettos or higher, you should consider a kitten heel. When it comes to types of women's shoes, the kitten heel is an unsung hero. It is similar to a stiletto but the heel only ranges from one-and-a-half to two inches high - making it infinitely more wearable than a four inch stiletto.

What makes the kitten heel unique is the curve in the middle of the heel that makes it look like an hourglass. In some cases the curve is only on one half of the heel, making it look like half an hourglass. But kitten heels aren't just for retro or rockabilly girls. They are becoming more popular in the mainstream with designers like Manolo Blahnik starting to make more kitten heels instead of the stilettos (or the Needle, as he calls stilettos) because they have not been very popular and Manolo is known for bringing back great trends and making them his own. So expect to see more kitten heels available as they increase in popularity. They are easier to wear because the heel is shorter, and they still look sexy and feminine because the heel is thin and curved. It's basically the same great chic look as the stiletto with none of the pain and balance issues that stilettos have.

This is a shoe which has no sides but has a support at the heel area and the toes are covered this can be with or without an ankle strap.

Mary Jane

This can be a flat or heeled shoe which like a pump encloses the foot all the way around it. The front of this shoe will be square or very slightly rounded with a cross strap running across the foot central between the ankle and toes

Sling backs

Open-backed shoes with a strap that runs back along the heel, rather than around the ankle. Way sexier than pumps. Can have a high or low heel. Sling back shoes are a simple, easy way to add a dash of sexy to any outfit. Woman's sling backs have a strap around the back of the ankle that can use a buckle or elastic to stay in place. The heel and upper part of the shoe can vary in size and style, because it's the strap across the back of the ankle that makes a shoe a sling back. Black sling backs are seen in offices all over, as they retain a great feminine quality without being too sexy. They also come in bright colors and fun patterns. If you don't feel comfortable in a mule or a sandal without a back to support your heel or ankle, sling backs are perfect for you. Sling back shoes are typically open toed to add to the overall openness of the shoe. The band that rests at the back of the ankle varies in width, so if you feel you need more support you can get that in a sling back by getting a shoe with a wide back band. Sling backs come a variety of styles such as wedges, heels, ballet flats, sandals, mules, or any other shoe style to fit your tastes.

Boots

These are shoes which completely enclose the foot and can come in flat, wedge and heeled styles. There are various types with the shortest being the Ankle high boot which reaches just above the ankle then it's the Knee high boot which stops just before reaching the knee and the Thigh high which covers the leg all the way to the thigh. Two lesser known boots are the crotch boots which reach all the way up the leg to the crotch and the Chap boot which is a modified crotch boot which has a piece of material which reaches over the hips and secured around the waist with a belt.

Athletic Shoes

Should also be mentioned, there are specific styles created for women and for different types of sports activities, such as running, training or working out, for each athletic shoe has it own particular characteristic.You want to keep in shape, so you should have one top quality athletic shoe. Choose from Nike, Adidas, PUMA, New Balance are other established athletic shoe companies. If you do a lot of running, make sure to get a pair of athletic shoes with plenty of cushioning and support. If you play a particular sport, find the shoe that is best suited for your workouts or training regimen.

However, it should be noted that even though you wear athletic shoes for comfort and exercise and running around, that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the hundreds of great styles and colors available for woman's athletic footwear. From Velcro to laces, from high-tops to backless, athletic shoes have become a fashion statement beyond just being functional.

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Different Types of Handbags For Women

Handbags have been known for their special relation to women. They have been one of the most popular and are often used accessories of women even before old times. Handbags are not only considered as a functional item that help them carry their important belongings, but women consider them as one of the most significant preferences in succeeding the best fashion style they dreaming of, as well.

Nowadays, handbags are coming out with plenty varieties of styles and designs to choose from. Designers are making various creations with different styles and designs that can match with the lifestyle of today's savvy women. As a result, most women today tend to own a minimum of three unique styles of handbags for different occasions and outfits.

Some might argues that as a Muslim woman, wasatiyyah should be practiced. And having quite number of handbags is viewed by some people as not meeting this principle and considered as wasting. Nevertheless, we should realized that by having a number of bags and tailored its use to specific occasion is actually a good practice. It could help to keep the bags in good condition for a longer period. Majority of girls and women tend to use the same bag or two repeatedly until they practically fall apart. Well, from our point of view, this is even worse. To us, it is better to have a number of bags and changing bags everyday or every two days, rather than using the same bags everyday and make it easily fall apart.

Muslim women should not be left out in fashion. Knowing different types of handbags and when to use the right types of handbags is very important to let Muslim women appear professional and updated. Besides that, if you were happened to have a conversation with someone that use specific term to refer to a specific type of handbags, you have already know which one he or she is referring too. That would make you look very up-to-date person, isn't? ;) . Here are some types of handbags that are available in the market:

Tote Bags
These are a type of handbag that also known as carry bags. These are used to hold numerous belongings that are too many or too large for a purse. They are often seen carried by collage students, business women and those who are always on the go. Tote bags are not only very popular but casual and practical at the same time. Women often feel comfortable using totes during hang outs.


Clutches

These are the handbags intended to be carried in the hand for they have no any handle. They basically comes with a very chick-like look small purse where you can put your cute essentials such as make up, lip stick and other cosmetics to make you stay fresh and look beautiful for the rest of the day. Women likes to carry clutches during evening events and other formal, dressy occasions.

Satchel Handbags

These are the types that have one or sometimes two large straps that goes over one should and across the body. These are perfect for busy women who are working in an office. Such women definitely need satchel handbags because they often need to carry important files, especially during company meeting, or if they need to bring their paper works at home. Most student are also using these bags to help them carry their books, notebooks and other school supplies.

Duffel Bags

These are huge bags that are often used during traveling. Duffel bags have large compartments where you'll be able to place numerous valuables such as clothes, shoes, and other things you need to bring while you are away from home.


Hobo Handbags

They usually comes with large and defined by a crescent shape that are designed to wear over the shoulder. They have a very lady-like style and design which makes women looks more attractive and eye-catching. These are a perfect choice for busy working women who don't need to bring numerous bulky stuff.



Source: http://www.chinatownconnection.com/handbags-women.htm
Pictures taken from: http://www.polyvore.com

How to Wear a Clutch Bag

Clutch bags are a must in woman's wardrobe. When buying a clutch bag, you should take into account its texture and color, and remember that whatever you choose must make a perfect combination with your fashion apparel, your footwear, etc.

Clutch bags made of satin, velvet, cotton are out of fashion. Clutch bags made of crochet materials and knitwear are most sought after. You can also go for clutch bags with innovative patchworks effect and studded with pearls, as these are becoming popular this season. Some of the hottest colors for clutch bags this season are vibrant green, fuchsia red, dark citron and super lemon, so come out of the realm of brown, navy, black and white.


Apart from colors and textures, you should keep in mind other things as well. Never go out for shopping with a clutch bag, as it is an accessory to wear when going to parties or dinners. Never stuff your clutch bag excessively, because its heavier look may spoil its fashion value.

Or, you can choose a super sized clutch bag if you want to carry your lipsticks, perfumes and other things. Always choose a clutch bag which contrasts with your fashion apparel but matches your footwear. Never carry a clutch bag when you are wearing boots or ballet flats. Rather, whenever you feel the need of a clutch bag, wear pointed high heels.




Source: http://www.stylefashiontips.com/fashion-tips/how-to-wear-a-clutch-bag.html
Pictures taken from: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/shop?query=clutch+bag#foo and http://catwalkfashion.co.uk/2008/07/classic-clutch-bags/

Get Blessings by Allah

A woman who dress according to Quran and Sunnah ~covered everything except face and the hand also not show of their adornment to those who have no right (except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no knowledge of women's private parts.

Whenever she go, she do not has any problem in performing the prayer because she wore perfectly according to Islamic path and can perform prayer as what she wear now. For Malay woman, most of them prefer to wear 'telekong' when praying because some of them do not wearing completely as recommended by Islam. So, they might have problem when there is no 'telekong' and may take this a advantage to refuse or delay their prayer.

Hijab: Obligatory or Fashion?

In my humble opinion, a woman who wear hijab either in beginning her age or puberty or not should know the limitation. Meanwhile, she must obeys what Allah command in wearing the hijab and not just because of fashion style. Women and fashion cannot be separated because they like to look good in front of people and try to impress people around. In fashion, Islam has given us some guideline and as the vicegerant of Allah, we must follow the rules.

There is a story about hijab requirement as narrated by Abu Dawud that 'A'ishah said:
Asma came to see the Messenger of Allah (saws). She was wearing a thin dress; the Prophet (saws) turned away from her and said to her:  

"O Asma, once a woman reaches the age of puberty no part of her body should be uncovered except her face and hands".

It should be noted that the Arabic word khumur (plural of khimaar) which has been translated above in the ayah from Surat an-Nurr as veils, means head covers, not face veils, as may mistakenly be supposed. It refers to a cloth which covers all of the hair. Furthermore, the word juyoob (plural of jaib), also found in the ayah of Surat an-Nur, refers not only to the bosom, as is commonly thought, but also to the neck.
see also

Niqab,Hijab and Nothing...

YOU JUDGE YOURSELF!!!

Hijab Requirement

The study of women in Islam deals with the attitudes and beliefs about the roles and add responsibilities of women within the religion of Islam. The complex relationship between women and Islam is defined by both Islamic texts and the history and culture of the Muslim world.

Hijab is the Quranic requirement that Muslims, both male and female, dress and behave modestly. The most important Quranic verse relating to hijab is sura 24:31, which says, 

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not to display their adornment except that which ordinarily appears thereof and to draw their headcovers over their chests and not to display their adornment except to their [maharim]..."

Islamic scholars agree that a woman should act and dress in a way that does not draw sexual attention to her when she is in the presence of someone of the opposite sex. Some islamic scholars[who?] specify which areas of the body must be covered; most of these require that everything besides the face and hands be covered, and some require all but the eyes to be covered, using garments such as chadors or burqas.[citation needed] Most mainstream scholars say that men, in contrast, should cover themselves from the navel to the knees. see more


source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_and_Islam#Dress_code

Reduce your stress for better health

Here are some easy, inexpensive ways that Henderson and Dunkelman recommend to pamper yourself:

* Treat yourself to some fresh flowers. Keep them on your desk at work or on your nightstand at home.

* Buy a new shade of lipstick.

* Light candles in your house. Don't save them just for special occasions.

* Buy yourself one set of the most sumptuous bath towels you can find. There's nothing more luxurious than using a rich, thick towel after your morning shower, especially if you're getting ready for a busy work day.

* Schedule a "Me Day". Plan a day where you do some of the things you may dream about doing during your morning commute to work. Browse in an antique shop. Take a nap in your backyard hammock. Catch an afternoon matinee.

* Go to a local department store and get a free makeover at the make-up counter.

* Treat yourself to a natural body or facial scrub. Combine it with a scented bubble bath.

* Take a walk.

* Get a massage and a pedicure. When your feet feel good, you feel good all over.

* Another stress relief is connecting with a friend take a walk together, make an unscheduled phone call or send a letter or e-mail just to chat. You might consider helping a friend who is stressed by putting together a pampering gift basket.

To read more, please click here (http://free-beauty-tips.glam.com/pamperhealth.html).

Its fashion time!!!

You might have your own way to dress up. For us, as we look at the photos at the photo bucket websites, there's lots of great idea of matching our fashion styles. The fashion is vary according to function or activity. It comes from a very simple way of dressing to a very sophisticated way of dressing. Here is some of the pictures to give you more idea for your fashion styles.

For more pictures, please click here.

Why do Muslim women have to cover their heads?

           It is the general consensus among the Muslims that a Muslim woman is required to cover her head leaving only her face showing as part of an overall dress code and behaviour which Islam prescribes. It is therefore part of the social system of Islam, and a manifestation of important general Islamic principles.

       An educated Muslim woman does this because she is following guidance from God and His prophet Muhammad recorded in the Qur'an,and in the Sunnah (the knowledge about the practice and example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)). For example, one translation of the meaning of the specific ayat (verse)of Qur'an that mentions the head covering is as follows: 

"And say to the believing women......that they should draw their head-coverings over the neck opening (of their dresses) , and not display their ornaments except to their husbands, their fathers..... "

(24:31)